Flaks - The Musical - Scene 3

The story of a Silicon Valley PR agency during the dotcom boom of the late 1990s

(Britt and Barb are in the women’s bathroom)

Britt (from one stall) – so, it didn’t go well with Clay
Barb – (from another stall) No.
Britt – I told you we…
Barb – Don’t! Just don’t.
Britt – Lori isn’t…
Barb – Shut up, Britt.

(They exit the stalls and stand talking at the sinks.)

Barb – We need to get Billy on the phone and prep him. If he doesn’t get past Clay, we could be out.
Britt – You mean Billy’s out…
Barb – Think Britt. I went to Lori behind Clay’s back, if Clay says “no” then they’ll know I wasn’t entirely truthful.
Britt – You lied.
Barb – Never say that word.

(They stop talking, Barb’s pensively drying her hands. Britt gets dreamy.)

Britt – For a geek, Billy’s kind of cute.
Barb – He’s not a geek. He’s a dork. (She breaks into song)
We need them to see a geek
Britt – But, he’s kind of cute
Barb – Too timid, too meek
Britt – We’ll get him a suit
Barb – What the hell, a male body’s all we need
Those clowns don’t trust me
To pitch their technology
Just you wait and see
They’ll love him for one simple reason
Britt – It’s tradeshow season
Barb – (disdain) they’ll trust him cuz he’s got a penis
The dumb brotherhood of we-ness
That, we, Britt, will never possess

Britt – Oh, right, yes...

Barb – So you see it proceeds logically
Loyalty determined biologically
Just you wait and see
Britt – yes I’ll wait and see
You follow your hunch...
Barb – It’s more than a hunch...
Britt – Fine, let’s go get lunch.

(They exit the bathroom. Two men are stopped outside the women’s bathroom, they’ve clearly been listening. Lincoln is Asian roughly 30, the other is John, younger, 20-something, junior. The men pretend not to have been listening. The women pretend not to care. After they’re gone, Lincoln shrugs at John. John says cheerfully, inanely)

John – Yes, but they don’t have urinals.